excerpts from my autobiography

my mother raised me to be retrospective.

but this blog is about periods and cats.

can u believe this fuckin dog?

Ugh I shouldn’t have had that second donut

I bought donuts for my staff and if I eat two there won’t be enough for everyone, but like, I really want to eat two—would that make me a dick?

Every time I say hors d’eouvres I have to stop myself from saying or-do-vors. 

my life is ok, i guess

I have a lot of feelings about old white guys doing a hip hop medley.

They are all about how they just shouldn’t.

This band was having a real good time

Ugh why is this crooked

Crying

One of J’s family members posted a picture of him holding my purse and they were all commenting about how whipped/henpecked/lacking of testicals he is.
The wink means I’m not a crazy feminist bitch who can’t take a joke!

One of J’s family members posted a picture of him holding my purse and they were all commenting about how whipped/henpecked/lacking of testicals he is.

The wink means I’m not a crazy feminist bitch who can’t take a joke!